I need help.
I'm failing miserably.
I just can't figure out what to say, or how to say it. When presented with woo.
I learned about woo from white coat underground. Of course, I knew about woo, I just didn't know it was called woo. Woo is all that crazy alternative medicine quackery.
I'm not even talking about soft woo. I'll walk with you for a little way, on chiropractry, acupuncture, St. John's Wort. If you ask me point blank I'll tell you what I think (completely bogus), but if it's within reasonable context I leave it alone.
I'm talking about hard woo. Hair analysis, magnet therapy, chelation.
What would I say, if a friend or family member asked me about the above?
What are you, an idiot?
But somehow, that doesn't seem appropriate to say to patients.
I've been waiting for my script to develop, and it's going miserably. I end up mumbling and going on about misrepresentation and lack of controlled trials. I end up sounding like the idiot.
I need help. The Woo is coming out of the Woo-dwork.
I had a patient this week ask me what she should do about the high heavy metal levels that she has in her tissues that don't show up in her blood stream, that cause her fatigue, back pain, sinus pressure, etc. She got tested for it by being hooked up to some electrode type system 6 years ago. And heavy metals can cause blockage of the coronary arteries, didn't I know?
It did not go well.
What am I, an idiot?