You can look at the menu but you just can't eat
You can feel the cushions but you can't have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool but you can't have a swim
You can feel the punishment but you can't commit the sin
This is where life lies right now. In a sick way, it's harder to be at home with Henry feeling so well. We can almost taste normalcy, but we know we can't get it back.
He's still got cancer. He's still got months of chemotherapy in front of him. He's got possible radiation treatment. He's got loads of doctor's appointments, invasive procedures, sedations, MRIs. In the best case scenario, he's looking at developmental delay and some degree of chronic illness.
In the hospital, the goal to work toward is getting home with him feeling well.
Once we're home with him feeling well, I realize this is as good as it gets.
But it's not good enough.
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame.