I feel like the roses that dropped these petals.
What a month. Henry has bounced back amazingly. Why don't I feel better?
I'm tired. I'm irritable. I'm not enjoying him. I'm not enjoying the girls. I feel like wrapping myself in a cocoon of isolation and staying there for days. But I know that would do nothing but make things worse.
During Henry's chemo and the ensuing side effects, I was master of my universe. Little sleep, no time, but full of energy, endless patience, strength, and emotional control. I was tempted to say that I was running on adrenaline, but I've done that before, lots of times, and this was different. Running on adrenaline is more manic, more primitive. This was like I was the Earth Mother, calm, wise, with enough love and energy for all.
It's over now. The great Spirit of the Earth Mother has moved on to another mortal vessel.
I hope she visits again. Henry's got another round of high dose chemo and another stem cell transplant next month.