Before Henry relapsed we had planned his Make A Wish trip for a week in Orlando. Allow me to briefly plug what fabulous organizations both Make A Wish, and Give Kids the World (a resort in Orlando dedicated to children granted wish trips on the basis of life threatening health conditions) are.
I have seen other families dealing with pediatric cancer take their wish trips after a child has relapsed, when eventual loss is inevitable. I always felt certain that were I in their shoes the entire experience would be one of recurrent agony, with every moment poisonously laced with the knowledge that it would indeed never occur again.
Isn't that the case already?
We had a fabulous trip. There were tears, and sadness, but more than that was joy and happiness. To be honest, the trip was a bit much for Henry, who wasn't feeling up to everything that we dragged him through. But for the girls it was magical, and even Henry had a number of magical moments.
He continues to feel well. He's very relaxed, happy to be home and with the people he loves, and not currently uncomfortable in any way. Of course, the oncologist can't tell us how long we have with him. We've elected to use some oral chemo to extend the time that he has, which sounds to be somewhere between a couple months to a year, with the shorter end of that more likely.
This continues to be a magical time for me. Time seems to have slowed down somewhat, and I am treasuring the experiences that we all have together. There is a current of sadness, but the bulk of the emotion is headed toward happy shores. I have the distinct feeling that though I expected it to feel differently, this is exactly how it is supposed to feel.