Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Update

I've been struck with an utter lack of profundity, hence the lack of blogging. I'm pretty busy, and pretty tired because of it.

I walked/ran a 6 K last weekend, to support one of the charities that supported us during Henry's illness. I really enjoyed the whole experience, but haven't exercised since.

We got a new dog. She's cute, but the little piddle spots aren't.

I'm back to working full time. I am enjoying it on a variety of levels, but I regret that I'm not home more. It's definitely my comfort zone, where I can really let down if I need to.

My sister had a baby. He's gorgeous, and I love to see their family grow. I expected to find my emotions regarding it a little tough, but I haven't, a pleasant surprise.

The pain of his death is passing, the constancy of my grief becoming more apparent. At first the emotion was so intense it was unsustainable, and seemed to rise and fall without warning. I seem to be at a more stable place now, but I don't get much relief.

I miss him so much.

8 comments:

SOCKS said...

It is "pleasant" to see you function so well - to run a 6K, socialize, make jokes, make conversation and return to work and enjoy it.

I never forget what is gnawing at your heart and admire that you are able to "carry on" with such grace.

Your grief is never far away - don't worry - all those that care about you will always know and will always remember Henry.

Mama Mia said...

{{hugs}}

That's the thing with being lucky enough to have loving relationships - when you lose someone, it leaves such an emptiness. I won't tell you you will get over it, because we don't 'get over' losing someone, we get through it, moment by moment, then hour by hour, then day by day, and so on. Eventually we create a new 'normal', but it can never be ... the same shape as what normal once was. You are strong, and things will get better with time - but there will be bumps in the road before you feel ok again. I am truly sorry you all had to face such a loss.

Anonymous said...

Well said Socks!

RRNC

Arlene (AJ) said...

Some days will be easier than others, but taking it one day at a time, that's all any of us can do when we've been through the loss of a loved one, so proud of you to allow yourself to reach for tomorrow. Bless you dear.

rlbates said...

Just wanted to let you know I'm still here if there's ever anything I can do for you.

AngelMc said...

Thinking of you.

winecat said...

I echo Socks and Mama Mia and
may all your memories of Henry be beautiful

...tom... said...

...
I expected to find my emotions regarding it a little tough, but I haven't, a pleasant surprise.I would think your 'emotions' are tough little buggers right now. Like battle-field tested troops they have 'seen' too much and 'been through' too much to be fazed by much just yet.

I am sure there will come a day when the 'constancy' is diminished; when your memories and ongoing love of him and your entire family will ameliorate and temper that grief to a level that 'works' for all of you.


As always, thinking of you and yours...


...tom...
.