Monday, June 1, 2009


You are everywhere.

Every firetruck I pass is yours.

The sugar snap peas in the garden grow for you, I can't eat them.

When I lie in your bed by myself and cry, I can almost feel you next to me.

You're in the tub with your big sister, but she can't see you.

The birds eat your birdseed, and I fill it for you.

Every boy on the street on his bike is you.

Oswald plays for you on tv, waiting for you to watch.

The flower named for you blooms on the trellis, last year you held it.

Your locker across from mine, holds your shoes, hats, coat.

You are everywhere, but here.


Pop and Ice said...

How very beautiful and painful.

I cannot articulate pain. I am stopped up inside. I cannot talk about it. I can only go wild about it in my head.

Someday maybe I will be able to speak.

Shosh said...

your writing is so wonderful at expressing your feelings. it makes me think of another blog i

FrankandMary said...

I'm sorry, but then I am not. You need him everywhere right now.

rlbates said...

Dr Smak, I find the same with my mother. You say it so well.

Karen said...

I'm sorry for your pain. And I'm glad that he is evoked so strongly for you everywhere. He was a vibrant boy, a strong presence, to have left such an absence.

I wish I could be helpful.

Indigo said...

(Hugs) Everywhere would make sense dear friend. He's there in your heart and wherever you are he would be. (Hugs)Indigo

...tom... said...

Henry is always 'with you', surely always will be; in thought, in memory, with love ...if not in flesh that always proves too weak matter how many times you replay the journey.

How could he not be 'everywhere' you are..??


I continue to believe your thoughts, and words used to express them, have a power beyond what you imagine.

I hope someday you seriously consider sharing them in an even wider circle than you do here.


A Doc 2 Be said...

It sucks, and I'm sorry.

Time will ease the pain, I promise. Not obliterate it, just ease it. Until then, embrace all the fond, warm, compassionate memories you have of your beloved son.

Still thinking of you.

Taking Heart said...

a Mother's undying love...

SOCKS said...

I agree with Tom - you are so talented in bearing raw emotion and evoking the same in others.

I know how I hurt for my children when they are sad, worried, faced with hard decisions. But your situation is way beyond what most people face - and your pain, the hole in your heart, is more than I can imagine. I feel useless, inadequate, impotent.

So so sorry - - -

ADB said...

Anyone who has suffered a bereavement will recognise your experience. As do I.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for a little while now but I have never commented before.

I just want to tell you how very sorry I am that you have lost your precious son.

I wish you peace and comfort.


courtney said...

I'm sending this to my mom via email. she lost her son (my brother) a year and a half ago. this poem describes exactly the sense of loss I feel so often...

thank you. I pray that you will find peace in the midst of the heartache.