She sat on the exam table and expressed her condolences. I forgot till she started talking that she had lost a son, too.
It's been 5 years for her. He was an adult, but just barely.
"It's been 4 months today," I said, and started to cry.
She said she was sorry to tell me that it gets worse before it gets better. The third year was really hard for her. As much as that sucks eggs, I'm glad she told me. Talking to someone who has lived through this is like talking to a sister...you don't have to explain yourself, or backtrack, or sidestep. She just gets it.
She said, "My mom told me I had to make a choice: crawl in a hole or keep going."
I'm doing ok with the keep going part. She's not the first person to tell me that it will get worse. Everyone navigates this differently, but I suspect they are right.
So I'll keep going.