In the final analysis, we are all really alone.
Sometimes I feel more alone than others.
I have a very supportive family, and a wonderful network of friends.
The grieving support group has provided me with another group of people who can relate to me and to whom I can relate in ways that my friends and family thankfully cannot.
But I have yet to happen upon another non-theist** who has lost a child.
I've read, and continue to read, several blogs of parents who have lost a child. Most are openly religious, in a structured sense. Church, prayer, reading and quoting the bible. Some are less structured, and appear to believe in god but in a less formal way. Angels, seeing loved ones in heaven, more prayer.
Allow me to formally digress into a disclaimer. I have nothing against religion. It is a useful and powerful tool in the lives of many, including many people whom I love and respect. It's just that I don't believe in god, and I can't imagine ever believing in god, just as strongly as those who do fervently believe in god can't imagine not doing so. It's part of the deep fabric of my being since I went through my own self-directed religious journey in my late teens. It may be arrogance, but I think that I've thought about god a lot more than many people who believe in god.
Anyhoo, I feel like the only one (my husband excepted.) I haven't met/read/heard of a fellow non-theist grieving a child. Of course, they exist...they must. I wish I could find some. We as grieving parents have so many emotions and experiences in common; our real and cyber-relationships are so supportive. But I get lost, feel shut out at times, when the healing turns to god and the relief that people seem to get from that belief and relationship. I just can't go there.
Where is the nearest Pseudo-Buddhist Non-theist American Grieving Parent support group?
**My newly preferred word for my belief system. Atheist is so loaded these days. I'm not anti-god, I just don't believe in one.