Friday, June 25, 2010

Pity Party

"My life seems pretty complicated. Sometimes I just want to throw a pity party."

I agreed with her. We discussed medication changes, hoping that will improve her coping skills. But honestly, sometimes there's just too much to handle and still feel good about life.

I replied, "The tough part is that it's always easy to find people who seem to have it so much better than you. But if you really look around, there are always people who have it much worse. And the pity party really doesn't help."

This has been my past few weeks. I always joked that when you've lost a child, you should get a GET OUT OF TRAGEDY FREE card, that lasts at least a few years. But of course it doesn't work that way.

There are a couple of big, painful, stressful things going on in my life. Great big sucky things. No, not nearly as sucky as Henry's illness and death. But pretty big and sucky. And I could use a break from big and sucky. I even feel like I deserve one, and I know that I don't deserve anything. But I also know that I don't deserve this.

Yet, there is nothing to be done. Such is life. And the pity parties don't help, in fact, they make me feel like an ass. Who am I to expect a stress-free existence?

Still...Big. Sucky. Not sure what else to say.

12 comments:

rlbates said...

Don't know if it would help, but you always have my ear (phone or email) if it would help to rant, etc.

"This too shall pass." Hope what's on the other side of this big, sucky ordeal is better.

{{{hugs}}}

Snickollet said...

I'm sorry. And I empathize. And I'm sorry. Sigh.

Bostongirl said...

I'm so sorry. I feel the same way with my husband's brain tumor. We have this, we shouldn't have other big sucky stuff do, but we do. And it sucks. And yes, the temptation to throw a pity party is strong... Thanks for sharing. I hope things look up for you and your family.

socks said...

It is so exhausting when personal issues seem insurmountable and every day activities must go on - we can't CALL HALT.

And yet, the every day activities and responsibilities help to center me, put me in the "here and now" - keeping momentum going and finding the energy is the hard part.

I have no answers for you. I am glad you are sharing.
Comfort comes from knowing that people care - and I do.

Emily said...

I tend to repeat that song that Dory sings in "Finding Nemo": just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. Sometimes all you can do is keep swimming through the crap and know that ultimately you are still going forward, however slowly.

My thoughts are with you. Feel the love through the intarwebs.

radioactive girl said...

I am so sorry! I can very much relate to this and am just so sorry that you are feeling it too. I'm thinking good happy thoughts for you!

Katerina said...

So sorry to hear this. UNFAIR!!!

I often think of you and wish you strength and a lot of small joyful things.

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

Life has sucked for me pretty much the last two years...just climbing back out. Guess it's just the way it goes.

Love your posts. I'll be back...C

Sybil said...

Sorry I missed this entry the other day...Hope by now that you are feeling a little less yucky..and that some of the problems have disolved...as ribates say's ....this too shall pass...just that it seems to take so long sometimes...
Blessing flying your way.
Love Sybil x

Pam said...

I remember visiting my doctor and talking about upping my meds for anxiety and depression. We were going through a difficult time and I was feeling weak and like throwing my own "pity party". She reminded me I am just human and what I was dealing with was bound to be difficult for anyone and that life is a roller coaster ride for most people. Whatever you are dealing with, I hope it gets more manageable soon.

...tom... said...

...

Reading just now after a long absence ...I think this post correlates well with your last post, the 'ten lessons' post.

Interesting.


Good luck with that living day to day thing. You are right, it does 'great big sucky' at times. ...:minism:...


...tom...
.

Karen said...

It's been long enough now that I hope some of the big suckiness has passed. Life isn't fair, and you don't get a pass on stress/pain, but I wish you could.